Thaw
by Icewyche
Summary: Daniel and Lance escaped the ice fields of Crydor with their lives...but they didn't escape unscathed.  Takes place after "Ghost in the Lion."


**Thaw**

**By Icewyche**

_A.N.: This takes place shortly after "Ghost in the Lion". I haven't done this in a while, so please be gentle. ;-)_

The battle was in full swing. Daniel yanked his controls hard to the left, sending Red Lion into a sharp swerve, and his opponent's fire missed him by mere centimeters. "Snartbags," he muttered, trying to reorient himself. _There..._He turned and gave chase, firing back, but the other guy was _fast_. Faster even than him, apparently, since Daniel didn't even come close to hitting him. Daniel snarled, trying to get a lock on his enemy, but the controls seemed sluggish somehow and it was slowing down his reaction time. _Have to get Hunk and Pidge to take a look._ There was nothing to be done for it now, though; he'd just have to adjust the best he could.

His opponent didn't seem to be having any such problems, which made Daniel grit his teeth at the unfairness of it all, and whipped back around for another pass. But this time the enemy guns flashed blue, not red, and Daniel was startled when a blob of something crystalline hit the side of Red Lion's viewport with a _splat_. "Hey!" he protested. "That's not fair! Since when do Drule ships have ice guns?"

A burst of merry laughter from his comm link answered him. "These are _simulators_, Danny-Boy," Lance replied, and even over the comms Daniel could hear the glee in his instructor's voice. "They can have anything I want them to. Question is, what are you gonna do about it?" To illustrate his point, he fired another burst of ice directly at Daniel, and the boy had to scramble to get out of the way...he just barely made it. "You're slowing down there, kid," Lance taunted.

"Something's wrong with this pod," Daniel gritted out. "The controls aren't responding right."

"Sure they aren't. You just don't want to admit that I can still outfly you, oh speedy one," came the smug retort. Two more ice blasts; one missed, while the other hit his Lion's nose, causing the craft to shudder. "Come on, Daniel, get your game face on!"

_I'll show you "game face",_ Daniel thought fiercely, trying to shove back a wave of vague unease. Why wasn't anything working right? Sure, they hadn't been in the simulators in a few days – there had kind of been _other_ stuff going on – but it didn't explain _this_. The controls felt awkward in his hands, and it took all his concentration just to dodge Lance's blasts, never mind returning fire. He wrenched the Lion into a clumsy turn – one that very nearly became an unintentional somersault – and fired two shots in his opponent's general direction. Not even close.

Lance's mocking chuckle stung his ears. "Seriously?" the other pilot said. "Dude, a space mouse could shoot better than _that_. What, are you taking a nap in there or something?" Lance did several loops and rolls that made Daniel dizzy just watching, then fired a couple more shots, both of which hit their target. "This is your wake-up call, my man!"

Daniel braced himself against the impact, his teeth rattling as the Lion shuddered again. "Lance, this is crazy!" he protested, hearing the desperate note in his voice and hating it. _What's _wrong_ with me?_ "Quit messing with the sim and make it act like a real Drule ship, will you?"

Lance sent his craft into a spiraling dive. "Nope," he called cheerfully. "How do you know the Drules _don't_ have this kind of tech? You've got to learn to deal with anything they or anyone else might throw at you, and now's as good a time as any." He punctuated that statement with a blue-tinged barrage across the front of Daniel's Lion. Two of the blasts struck home, covering the viewport completely in computer-generated ice and darkening the cockpit. "I'm not giving you a choice, cadet!"

He might have said something else, but Daniel didn't hear it; all the sounds around him were lost beneath the sudden roaring in his head.

_I'm not giving you a choice, cadet..._

The sim's cockpit was suddenly way too small; frigid steel bands wrapped around Daniel's chest and his hands began to shake uncontrollably. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't focus...all he could hear was those seven words, over and over and over.

_I'm not giving you a choice, cadet..._

He flailed out in a blind panic, and it was sheer dumb luck that he managed to hit the emergency stop button on the first try. The pod jerked to a stop, opening with a faint hiss of released air; Daniel was scrambling out of it before the canopy was even halfway up. He landed heavily on his knees, just barely avoiding a faceplant in the middle of the simulator room, and huddled there gasping for breath, unable to move, waiting for the world to stop shaking around him. Or maybe _he_ was shaking. He didn't know.

"What the heck was that?" Lance demanded as he opened his own pod. "Kid, you'd better be bleeding from _some_where for that little...Daniel!" Lance jumped down with a lot more grace than Daniel had displayed, moving instantly to his pupil's side. "Daniel, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine!" Daniel said hastily and too loudly. "I'm fine!"

"Sure you are," Lance replied, dropping to one knee beside the white-faced teen. "And if you were any more 'fine' you'd be passed out on the floor."

Daniel clenched his fists in an effort to stop trembling. "I'm okay. Really." He took a deep breath and lifted his head, almost but not quite managing to meet Lance's eyes. "Just a little motion-sick or something. I'm good now." He straightened his shoulders and forced his lips into a smile that he hoped didn't look as strained as it felt. "Come on. Let's go again. I'll totally kick your butt this time."

Lance didn't reply, leveling a piercing amber-brown gaze on Daniel for a long moment. Then he rose to his feet in one fluid motion, grasping Daniel's arm and gently but firmly hauling the boy upright. "Okay, that's it. No more practice for today."

"What? Come on, I'm totally ready," Daniel protested. "I know, you're just afraid I'll blast you into simulated space dust."

"Yeah. That's exactly it. You just keep on thinking that," Lance replied dryly. Still holding Daniel's arm, he steered him toward the door. "Come on."

"What – where are we going?"

"We're going for a little walk. Now move."

Daniel tried to dig in his heels, but Lance's unyielding grip on him meant he had to either follow or risk being hauled along like so much luggage. "Lance, it's no big deal, I'm okay," he insisted.

"Uh-huh. And I'm a space mouse."

"Aren't you a little tall for a space mouse?" Daniel joked feebly.

Lance stopped so suddenly Daniel almost ran into him. The Red Lion pilot turned to look at the teenager, his face set in stern lines. "Daniel," Lance said quietly. "Don't make me pull rank on you. You can either walk under your own steam or I can drag you. Up to you."

Well. When he put it like _that_... "Lead the way, boss," Daniel sighed.

After a long walk and an elevator ride marked by an utter lack of conversation, the pair wound up on one of the Castle of Lions's highest observation balconies. The wind whistled around them and Daniel shuddered involuntarily; the sound reminded him too much of..._No. Do NOT go there. Pull it together. _He crossed his arms against a sudden chill, trying to look nonchalant. It wasn't his best effort, but he tried anyway.

Lance didn't even seem to notice as he gazed out over the Arusian landscape, the breeze ruffling his auburn hair. Silence stretched uncomfortably between them until Daniel had to struggle not to squirm. Just as he was about to open his mouth to ask what the heck they were doing there, Lance turned away from the fascinating scenery and folded his arms, settling a long, measuring look on his student. "So. What's going on with you?" he asked.

"Me? Nothing – why do you ask?" Daniel replied, forcing out a laugh. "Lance, that thing in the sim room...that was nothing. I'm fine. Really."

"You're protesting too much, Dan-Man," Lance said. "Something weird has been happening with you the last few days. You've been way too quiet, you've been staying out of trouble, you're holding back in flight training...you've been acting like _Vince_ is what you've been doing, and that is just not normal. Makes me think something's about to go 'boom'."

"Gee, thanks for your confidence in me," Daniel muttered sullenly.

"You're welcome. Look, I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is," Lance said as he continued to watch Daniel thoughtfully. "Don't keep this locked up, Daniel. Talk to me."

Irritation welled up, and Daniel had to fight hard to keep a leash on his temper. "Lance, _nothing _is_ wrong,_" he bit out. "Is this why you dragged me up here, so you could get in touch with your sensitive side? Congratulations, mission accomplished. Can I _go_ now?"

Lance sighed impatiently. "Is this really how you want to play this, kid? Okay, fine – no, you can't 'go now'. We're going to stay up here until you start talking. And don't think I won't follow through on that, because we both know I will."

"And what if I don't want to talk?" Daniel demanded, scowling.

"You seem to be mistaking this for a negotiation," Lance told him bluntly. "It's not. You're going to get whatever's bothering you off your chest _now_ before it starts affecting the rest of the team. I'm not giving you a choice here, _cadet_."

_I'm not giving you a choice, cadet..._The memory surged again, and something deep within Daniel snapped. _"Will you stop saying that?"_ he screamed. "Just _stop_, okay? I already keep hearing that over and over in my head – I don't need it repeating _outside_ my head too!"

Lance's jaw dropped. "Daniel..." he began hesitantly, shocked by the boy's vehemence. Then his eyes narrowed slightly; Daniel could almost see the calculations running in his head and knew what conclusion Lance would come to. Sure enough... "This is about what happened on Crydor, isn't it?" the older man said, his voice quiet. No reply. "Come on, buddy. Talk to me."

Daniel turned away, trying to regain some shred of control, trying to find words to explain. Failing at both. How did he explain something like this to Lance...how _could_ he explain it?

The dreams had begun that very night they returned from the arctic planet, dreams that ended not with them being freed from the ice Sven had trapped them in, but with Lance still and silent and frozen in his pilot's seat, his eyes vacant and lifeless. Daniel had lain awake for hours after the first nightmare, shivering with a chill that wouldn't go away no matter what he did. He'd taken to keeping extra blankets on his bed now, something that had made Vince look at him a little oddly but that hadn't helped at all...the cold was deep inside him, a wall of glacier ice wrapped around his heart, and there weren't enough blankets in the entire castle for that.

It wasn't like he could confide in anyone, either; the intense cold had shut down all of Red Lion's systems including the comm link, so he and Lance were the only ones who knew what had happened. If he'd tried to tell the story to the rest of the team he knew they'd blame him, and they would have been right...how many times had they told him to make sure his Voltcom was charged regularly? And it _had_ been his fault – if he'd charged the stupid Voltcom, if he hadn't even insisted on going along in the first place, Lance would never have had to decide which of them would survive. On top of all that, there was the awful burden of knowing that when that terrible choice had to be made, Lance hadn't even hesitated to put Daniel's life ahead of his own, draining the power from his own Voltcom into Daniel's to keep the boy from freezing to death. It was something Daniel didn't know if he'd ever have the courage to do...and it shamed him that he hoped he'd never have to find out. He hadn't wanted Vince or Larmina or anyone else to suspect that anything was wrong so he'd tried to put up a good front, regaling his fellow cadets with the story of the original Voltron Force reuniting to battle Lotor's Mastodon Robeast. They'd been suitably impressed, but try as he might Daniel couldn't enjoy their admiration and envy; he just felt detached, separated from them somehow, and he didn't have any idea how to get past that.

It might not have been so bad if he'd thought Lance had been as affected by their near-death experience as he was. But no...Lance was his usual snarky, wisecracking self, completely unfazed. He'd shrugged the whole thing off as if nearly committing suicide by freezing was something he did every day, no big deal. It left Daniel feeling that much colder, that much more alone – how could he possibly tell _Lance_ about his fears? Lance, who threw himself headlong into the most lethal of situations without so much as a flinch, who'd faced imminent icy death with a wry grin and a lame joke about being "cool"? Lance would probably just laugh at him and tell him that deadly danger was part of the job description; he'd need to toughen up if he wanted to fly the lions someday. "You can't understand," he finally choked out.

"I can't understand what? That you feel guilty about the whole Voltcom thing?" Lance replied. "Daniel, you made a mistake. It happens. You can't keep blaming yourself for that."

"Why not?" Daniel demanded. The gentleness, the _compassion_ in Lance's voice made him inexplicably want to cry – which was _so_ not cool – so he dealt with that the best way he knew how...he lashed out instead. "It was my own stupid fault that I didn't charge my Voltcom – why did you have to be all noble and heroic trying to save my life? If Sven hadn't come back for us when he did, you'd be dead now!"

"Well, seeing as how it was Sven who made us into an ice sculpture in the first place, it was kind of the least he could have done," Lance said wryly.

"That's not the point! The point is, you almost _died_ because of me!" Daniel yelled. The typically-Lance wisecrack set his already raw nerves on edge; he had to clench his fists hard to keep from taking a swing at his teacher. "Why did you _do_ that, Lance? _Why_ did you try to sacrifice yourself for me? You're always telling me I need to learn from my mistakes – well, maybe you should have let me learn from this one!"

Lance's eyes flashed angrily. "Look, Daniel," he snapped. "Letting you freeze to death wasn't an option, okay? I've already got Sven on my conscience – really didn't feel like having _you_ there as well."

_Wait...what?_ Daniel blinked at his mentor. "Lance...it wasn't your fault we had to leave Sven," he said slowly. "I mean, Crydor looked like it was about to fall apart and the lions were running out of power...if we hadn't left when we did, we probably wouldn't have been able to. How can you blame yourself for any of that?"

Lance stared at Daniel as if the teen had started babbling in an alien language, then one corner of his mouth twisted upward in a pained half-smile. "Of course," he said softly. "You don't know." An odd sound escaped him once, twice – it might have been a laugh if it hadn't been so hollow and humorless. "Voltron's 'biggest fan', and you don't even know. Oh, the irony." He braced himself against the balcony wall, his shoulders heaving as the choking not-quite-laughter continued. Then he saw the confusion and wariness on Daniel's face; the laughter stopped as abruptly as if a switch had been thrown. Lance sighed and leaned back on his elbows against the railing. "Daniel...how much do you really know about what happened to Sven?" he asked quietly.

Daniel was surprised by the question, and it took him a moment to answer. "Um...pretty much just that he was Blue Lion's original pilot, then he got bit by Haggar's cat and had to leave the team," the boy replied.

"But you don't know how he got bitten. Or why." It wasn't a question.

Daniel shrugged. "I heard that he went one-on-one with Haggar...and that she needed to call in a Robeast _and_ her cat to take him down," he added with a touch of pride. "And even _that_ wasn't enough to finish him off."

Lance's lips curved in a faint, nostalgic smile. "He always was tougher than anybody gave him credit for," he murmured fondly. Then he grew somber again. "But Daniel...Sven wasn't fighting Haggar alone just because he could. He was fighting her alone because...because I left him there."

"Wh-what do you mean?"

Lance bowed his head and stared at the floor for a long moment, so long that Daniel began to wonder if he was ever going to answer the question. Then he sighed again and turned back to gaze out over the landscape, although he didn't seem to actually be seeing any of it. "It happened not long after we restored Voltron," he began, his voice as distant as his gaze. "We'd gone out with the Princess to distribute food to the Arusian people; most of them were still living in caves after Zarkon bombed the planet to rubble. The five of us were a symbol of hope to them, a sign that they didn't have to hide anymore; they could rebuild and make Arus what it used to be because now they had the Voltron Force to protect them. So there we were, being symbolic, when all of a sudden a blue cat shows up a few feet away and starts hissing at us. I knew what it meant. We all did. If that cat was roaming around, it meant Haggar had to be somewhere nearby...and where there was Haggar, there was trouble.

"In hindsight, it was pretty obvious that something was off. We were away from our Lions, barely armed, surrounded by innocent civilians – why not just attack us there? But that didn't even occur to me...all I knew was that I couldn't let Haggar get near those people." Lance shook his head with a tiny, sardonic laugh. "No, that's not even right. I'm making it sound all noble and selfless, when the truth is that it was never about keeping the civilians safe. It was about wanting a shot at the Drules for everything they'd done to us...being captured and chained, branded like cattle and thrown in a dungeon, barely escaping with our lives, not even being able to catch our breath on Arus before we had to fight off yet more Drules and Robeasts and nearly getting our heads handed to us by a couple of them. It was about wanting to deal some hurt to those monsters for all the hurt they'd dealt us. It was never about protection...it was about payback," he muttered darkly.

"I took off after that cat – didn't even wait for backup even though I heard Sven yelling at me not to go alone. And sure enough, I ran smack into Haggar's trap." Lance closed his eyes for a moment, remembering the magical net tightening around him, his futile struggles to escape as it dragged him inexorably into Haggar's clutches. "I thought I was a goner," he finally continued. "And I would have been if Sven hadn't shown up just in the nick of time. He sliced Haggar's net open and got me free. Then he told me to go warn the rest of the team, that he'd hold her off. I still remember the old witch saying that it made no difference, that either one of us would do. All she wanted to do was take out a member of the Voltron Force, didn't matter which one. Looking back...somehow that just made it even worse, you know? Knowing that it _wasn't_ personal, that it could have been any of us – we were all the same to her." He sighed. "And Sven...God, I can still see him just staring her down, sword in hand – a _sword_, for crying out loud! – telling her that she wasn't on her own planet anymore. Then he told me to hurry. So...I did what he told me to do. I left him there. I ran as fast as I could to warn the others; Hunk and Pidge took Allura back to the castle, while Keith and I rushed back to try and help Sven. But we weren't fast enough...it was over by the time we got there."

He lifted his face to the wind; Daniel wasn't sure if it was that or the long-ago memory that brought the faint sheen of tears to Lance's eyes. "I don't even know how he was still alive," he said, his voice soft with recalled horror. "There was so much blood...Haggar and her Robeast and her damned cat had worked him over good. But he held on, and he found the strength somewhere to warn us that Haggar would be back. Thanks to him, we were ready for that Robeast when it came for the rest of us."

Daniel swallowed hard, trying to imagine the scene and succeeding all too well. "It wasn't your fault," he said. "Sven made a choice...you would have done the same for him. Neither one of you could have known what would happen."

Lance managed a ghost of a smile. "You're not telling me anything I haven't already told myself a hundred million times," he said wearily. "But when you've knelt beside the broken and bloody wreckage of your best friend, holding his hand as he's struggling just to breathe, well...things like logic and reason just don't matter anymore."

_I know, Daniel...I was there_, Lance had said on Crydor, and suddenly Daniel understood the haunted look he'd seen in the pilot's eyes. _I was there_...yeah, _that_ was an understatement. "What happened to Sven after that?"

Lance shook his head. "Arus didn't have the medical technology then to take care of his injuries, so we had to send him to Ebb. We checked in on him as often as we could – not always easy since we were under near-constant attack by the Drules ourselves. But we heard that he was hanging in there, that he was healing, and we all believed that one day he'd be able to come back. Honestly, we didn't even care if he never flew a lion again, we just wanted our friend back with us. Then we got the news...Ebb had been attacked by Lotor's forces. What survivors there were had been taken into slavery on Doom. We didn't know if Sven had been among them or if he'd died in the bombings, and we couldn't tear Doom apart looking for him no matter how much we wanted to...and you'd better believe we wanted to," Lance added grimly, remembering just how many pieces of Drule wreckage had met a gruesome end at Hunk's hands as the big engineer had tried to deal with his grief and rage. "But there was nothing we could do – we didn't even find out about the attack until nearly two weeks after it happened, that's how fast and thorough they were. Not to mention we had our hands full with trying to keep the rest of the universe from suffering the same fate. It all boiled down to one life that might not even be around anymore versus millions of lives that were. We made the only choice we could. But we never forgot..._I_ never forgot.

"I can't even tell you how many nightmares I had about it, where I'd watch the whole thing happen all over again, or I'd see Ebb bombed into rubble and every single time we'd be just too late to help. Sometimes I'd watch Sven die in Keith's arms after Haggar's attack. Sometimes I'd find him in the ruins of Ebb, and he'd take his last breath just as I reached him; sometimes he'd stay alive long enough to tell me it was my fault. I think the worst ones were when we'd see the Drule forces taking him captive...there was always something that kept us from getting to him, and all we could do was just stand there and watch as we lost our friend for good."

"But you didn't...I mean, you found him again," Daniel said.

"Actually, I think it was more like he found us. But yeah, we found him." Another sigh. "It was...he'd changed. Which I guess is what happens when you nearly get killed by a Robeast and a witch, wind up kidnapped into slavery before you're anywhere near recovered, escape to underground caves to live or die on your own, and witness horrific cruelty every single day for who knows how long before you stumble across a royal captive who won't take 'no' for an answer and forces you to face the very past you've been running from in order to get her to safety." Lance tried to smile, but it was a weak, pained attempt. "You know what the ironic thing about all of it was? All the while I'd been thinking it was my fault what happened to Sven, he'd been thinking it was _his_. I thought I'd failed him for leaving him to fight Haggar alone...he thought _he'd_ failed _us_ because he hadn't been able to stop the Drule attack on Ebb and make his way back to us. We were each so busy beating ourselves up for what we thought were our own failures, neither of us thought to put the responsibility where it _really_ belonged."

"On Haggar."

"On Haggar," Lance agreed.

"And you've been carrying this around all this time?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Lance replied. "It wasn't all bad, I guess – if he hadn't wound up on Doom he might never have met Romelle, and they were the best thing that ever happened to each other. When they got married, we joked that they should have sent Lotor a wedding invitation...not that he would have shown or that anybody actually _wanted_ him to," he added wryly at Daniel's confused look. "The thing is, knowing my friend was happy and safe, watching him build a new life with a woman he loved who loved him in return, watching him heal...it helped me heal as well. The nightmares came less and less often, and I was finally able to let it sink in that he really _didn't_ blame me – maybe it was time to stop blaming myself.

"The last time I saw Sven was at little Erik's christening, just a couple of weeks before you cadets came to us. And he seemed fine...a little sleep-deprived, maybe, but that kind of came with the new-baby territory. How could any of us know he'd go downhill so fast?" Lance ran a hand distractedly through his hair. "When I saw him on Crydor...if it weren't for that accent I might not even have recognized him. He looked like he'd aged two decades in not even a year, and he was just so desperate, so..."

"Crazy?" Daniel suggested timidly.

Lance shot him a glare, then his shoulders sagged as he looked away again. "You're not wrong," he agreed unhappily. "Up until Crydor, I'd been able to believe that everything had worked out for the best. I thought that Sven had finally found a happy ending in spite of everything he'd been through, and I could finally let go of my own guilt. But seeing him like that, and then having to leave him on that frozen hellhole, fighting for his life while I ran for mine – _again _– it brought all of it back." He exhaled slowly. "Somehow I know we'll see him again, that he survived and that he pounded Lotor into purple slush while he was at it...that's just what he _does_, y'know? But that doesn't make it any easier, because he shouldn't have had to...he deserved better. He fought like hell to get his life back, and now it's all been taken away from him again. It still wakes me up at night knowing that if I'd done just _one thing_ differently all those years ago...I don't know. What's done is done, I guess, but it still hurts. Probably always will," he mused.

"Is that why you were so willing to let yourself die to save me?" Daniel asked. "Because you still felt guilty that you couldn't save him?"

A shrug. "You're my student...it's my job to keep you safe. Although I would have done the same thing for anyone else on the team, so don't think you're all _that_ special," Lance added with a wry smirk. Then he grew thoughtful again. "But, yeah, maybe that had something to do with it too. Maybe I just wasn't willing to lose another teammate on my watch...no matter what it cost me. It's a funny thing – I've been doing this for some seven years now, and I can only remember a handful of the planets and people I've saved. But I can't forget any of the ones I didn't...especially not that one." he finished softly.

Daniel was silent when Lance finished speaking, trying to digest all he'd just learned. He'd never even imagined...The story he'd known had sounded so heroic and exciting, so larger than life. He hadn't even thought there could be something darker to the tale, had never considered the scars it had left on the human beings who had actually _lived _it. "I'm sorry," he finally said quietly, knowing that wasn't nearly enough. "I didn't know. I thought...I mean...nothing ever seems to rattle you. You always just shrug everything off and keep going, no matter how bad things get; I thought something was wrong with me because I _couldn't_."

Lance chuckled. "Well, I kind of _have_ to shrug it off – if I didn't, I'd be in worse shape than Hunk's scrap collection." Daniel grinned, remembering his visits to the "Hunkyard." "Look, I didn't tell you all this so you'd feel sorry for me," Lance went on. "I told you because I wanted you to understand. When you signed on for this, you probably thought it was as simple as 'pilot awesome giant robot, kick bad-guy butt, save the universe, rinse and repeat.' But there's a lot more to it than that, and it's not always good. Some days the other guy is going to knock you on your backside. Sometimes it'll feel like the weight of the galaxy is on your shoulders and you'll wonder how you're ever going to get through one more battle, one more day. There'll be times when you'll second-guess yourself, wondering if you did the right thing. You're going to make mistakes, and sometimes bad things will happen because of them, and you'll have to deal with the consequences...and I won't lie to you, it's gonna hurt. You'll have to ignore the bruises, pick yourself up, and try again, over and over, as many times as it takes until you finally get it right. But don't ever think that you have to go through this alone, Daniel."

He draped an arm around the boy's shoulders. "You've been beating yourself up ever since Crydor, thinking you're the only one who's ever screwed up so badly he nearly got someone else hurt. You're not – believe me, every single person on this team can tell you differently. You're letting this eat you alive because you don't think that anyone else can possibly understand what you're going through, but you couldn't be more wrong. I do know how it feels to carry that kind of guilt, Daniel. And I have a lot more reason to carry it than you do. So don't hold this inside because you think you're the only one who feels this way," Lance said gently.

Daniel nodded slowly, finally understanding. They stood there for a long moment, neither one speaking as they gazed out over the familiar terrain that had become home for both of them. And in the companionable silence, Daniel felt something deep within him begin to thaw.

So many people just took Lance at face value, he thought. They saw the daredevil pilot, the fearless hero, the hotheaded bad boy with a wisecrack for every occasion. Very few people got to see the caring and compassionate man beneath the image, the man who agonized over a friend's loss, who would lay down his life without hesitation for the people he cared about, and who could bare his own soul to comfort another. The last of the ice around Daniel's heart cracked and crumbled away...and finally, he felt warm again.

Lance seemed to know what he was thinking. "So," he said with a smile. "You want to talk?"

"Yeah," Daniel replied, returning the smile with one of his own...a smile that for the first time in days was completely genuine. "Yeah, I do."


End file.
